All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.

What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.

The kind of accidents you prefer to call...accidents.

First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.