Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery.

In the end the problem isn't that you have the wrong sort of government for the People, but that you have the wrong sort of People.

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.

If you have let pride get the better of you, then you have already lost, but if you grab pride by the scruff of the neck and ride it like a stallion, then you may have already won.

She had heard it said that, before you could understand anybody, you needed to walk a mile in their shoes, which did not make a whole lot of sense, because probably AFTER you had walked a mile in their shoes, you would understand that they were chasing you and accusing you of the theft of a pair of shoes--although, of course, you could probably outrun them, owing to their lack of footwear.

Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.

And these are your reasons, my lord?" "Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent." Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.