Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery.

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.

Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

Everybody thinks the Government should be doing more about everything but just think how many of the bonuses which are quite rightly being dragged off certain people, just think to what good causes they could be put - wouldn't that be a lovely thought'?

There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.