...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.

The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving