Everyone is a virtuoso on his own instrument, but together they add up to an intolerable cacophony.

Nothing but disaster follows from applause.

The thinking man always finds himself in a gigantic orphanage in which people are continually proving to him that he has no parents.

We publish only to satisfy out craving for fame; there's no other motive except the even baser one of making money.

After all, there is nothing but failure.

What can you do. You get a name, you're called 'Thomas Bernhard', and it stays that way for the rest of your life. And if at some point you go for a walk in the woods, and someone takes a photo of you, then for the next eighty years you're always walking in the woods. There's nothing you can do about it.

What is ridiculous about human beings, Doctor,' the prince said, 'is actually their total incapacity to be ridiculous