Criticism is part of being in the marketplace. If you can't take a bit of criticism, you shouldn't bother publishing a book.

I don't take much notice of reviews now - obviously you'd like to have straight worship but you're never going to get that.

I went to a British Council event a while back and there were lots of German professors of literature. About half of them were convinced I had a German sense of humour and the other half were sure it was British. They are probably still arguing about it now.

Like most men, I'm a life support system for a phallus.

As suburbs go, Bromley's not bad. But as David Bowie and Hanif Kureishi have observed, you do want to get out of there quickly.

I always consider every place worth exploring once- just in case there's a thirty foot flaming sign divulging the secret of life, that no one has told me about.

The way British publishing works is that you go from not being published no matter how good you are, to being published no matter how bad you are.