There was a time when nails were high-tech. There was a time when people had to be told how to use a telephone. Technology is just a tool. People use tools to improve their lives.

I am a politician which means I am a liar and a crook. When I am not kissing babies I am stealing their lollypops.

Washington D.C. is about 300 square miles surrounded by realty.

When I go to peoples' houses I like to sneak into their bedrooms and try on their underwear.

What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It's not good at much else.

My life is a very simple life thank you

I haven't got any fan mail from Osama bin Laden. I have no reason to believe he reads my stuff I'll never decide for commercial reasons to put something in that endangers our national security. You just can't do that.