I love to deliver orgasms to the masses!

I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks. I'll pay you 20 bucks and I'll eat it.

Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

I think that people feel they know what love means, it's probably one of the most used words in the world but has the most completely different definitions from one person to another.

When you see opportunities in your life, you've got to analyze, 'Why was that choice given to me?

I don't believe that I'm better than anybody, but I do believe that I'll try harder than most and I hope that people just join me for a little bit of a ride.

I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours... it hurts... it's going to fall off.