It's actually cool to be positive and optimistic and idealistic. It's cool to see yourself doing beautiful, great things.

You'll always see me doing things that I have no business doing. Whether it's directing a major motion picture or meeting with the most important people in government and dealing with the biggest subjects on Earth. The story of the millennia. These are things I aspire to tackle. It doesn't mean I'm going to win on all of them, but God damn, it looks like I've got a pretty good shot at it.

I don't believe that I'm better than anybody, but I do believe that I'll try harder than most and I hope that people just join me for a little bit of a ride.

I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours... it hurts... it's going to fall off.

I love to deliver orgasms to the masses!

Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

I'm not gay, a lotta people think I'm gay. I have a girlfriend. She thinks I'm gay.