Everyone knows that senior citizens are stupid

I'm no more a lawbreaker than they are , and if they were lawbreakers for keeping God's commandments, they're my example.

I don't really like to just sit down at a computer and write because that tends to be a little forced. Sometimes the funniest ideas just happen in the moment, when you're talking to people, or you notice something.

I had a real passion for performing. I craved the attention. I was a goofy kid just like I am a goofy adult. So as soon as I got the bug of getting laughs and getting on stage I just couldn't stop.

It's exciting to be able to do something completely independent without anybody challenging it, and it's a big part of the reason why I'm enjoying doing the stand-up comedy, is I'm able to go out and interact with people one-on-one after the show. It's very punk-rock.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important.

It's hard to have any moral authority over a group of drunken college students when you have never had a beer and never been laid.