I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and enjoy a night to themselves. Women, we can't technically keep you out, but please stay at home.

I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and enjoy a night to themselves. Women, we can't technically keep you out, but please stay at home.

There's a difference... between the kind of woman you would bang and the kind of woman you would marry.

There's some benefit to being happy in your life. Of looking around and saying, 'This is mine.

There really is no Johnny Carson anymore. There is no one place a comedian can appear and explode.

I don't just preach; I put my money where my mouth is!

When I saw houses in Palmdale going for $500K, I knew something was wrong. If you got foreclosed, I don't feel sorry for you!