The harsh truth is, most red-haired men look like blondes who've spoiled from lack of refrigeration. They look like brown-haired men who've been composted out behind the barn. Yet that same pigmentation that on a man can resemble leaf mold or junkyard rust, a woman wears like a tiara of rubies.

Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.

Redheads are said to be children of the moon, thwarted by the sun and addicted to sex and sugar.

We say we are earthlings, not waterlings. Our blood is closer to seawater than our bones to soil, but thats no matter. The sea is the cradle we all rocked out of, but its to dust that we go. From the time that water invented us, we began to seek out dirt. The further we separate ourselves from the dirt, the further we separate ourselves from ourselves. Alienation is a disease of the unsoiled.

The trouble with the fast lane is that all the movement is horizontal. And I like to go vertical sometimes.

Just because something didn't happen doesn't mean it isn't true.

O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate