Life is like a stew, you have to stir it frequently, or all the scum rises to the top.

In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke my friends. The soul is the punch line.

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.

Death is impatient and thoughtless. It barges into your room when you are right in the middle of something, and it doesn't bother to wipe its boots.

Kissing is man's greatest invention. All animals copulate, but only humans kiss.

What difference does it make if the Gospel is mostly a lie? It's an engrossing story and the words of its hero are excellent words to live by, even today.