If enough things that are untrue are said about you, no one will know what really is true.

I will take his secret to the grave, telling people I meet on the way.

It was a different planet in 1967, the Broadway theatre. It had a little ashtray clamped to the back of every seat and the author got 10% of the gross.

The hard part is getting to the top of page 1.

Rosencrantz: I don't believe in it anyway. Guildenstern: What? Rosencrantz: England. Guildenstern: Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

Of all forms of fiction, autobiography is the most gratuitous.

I write plays because writing dialogue is the only respectable way of contradicting yourself. I put a position, rebut it, refute the rebuttal, and rebut the refutation.