If you want to change something by Tuesday, theater is no good. Journalism is what does that. But, if you want to just alter the chemistry of the moral matrix, then theater has a longer half-life.

You are an over-excited little man, with a need for self-expression far beyond the scope of your natural gifts. This is not discreditable. Neither does it make you an artist.

I cannot say that I write with any social objective. One writes because one loves writing, really.

There is no one so radical as a man-servant whose freedom of the champagne bin has been interfered with.

Audiences know what to expect, and that is all that they are prepared to believe in.

A man speaking sense to himself is no madder than a man speaking nonsense not to himself.

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.