I’ve never met anyone who made it with a chick because they owned a Tom Waits album. I’ve got all three, and it’s never helped me.

There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.

Got 27 children I never see.

Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

Most of the things you absorb you will ultimately secrete.

All that you've loved is all you own