Everybody wants to win, but everybody doesn't win.

One time I was doing a speech to a group of kids, and just before I get there, I see this little kid crying. I found out they just lost a game, and he was the losing pitcher. I went over there, put my arm around him, and said, 'What are you crying for? When major league players lose, they don't cry.'

I've been Catholic all my life, and there's one thing I've never understood. Why didn't the Corinthians write back?

You can wake up every day and make today better than the last.

I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it.

I'm telling you, I don't like cheaters.

If you don't root for the Dodgers, you might not get into heaven.