Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Canadians are always asking the questions the rest of us are afraid to ask.

Ron Karenga wrote a book back in 1968, and in that book, he said that the reason, part of his motivation for starting Kwanzaa was because he felt that Christianity was the white man religion, and he didn't like Jews, and so he made up this lie. And he called it an African holiday because he was concerned that if he didn't call it an African holiday, that black Americans would not participate in it.

If you are a [Hillary] Clinton supporter if you have friends who voted for [Donald] Trump it's harder to demonize that person.

Christianity isn't dead. It still has the capacity to scare people. It still gives people the creeps, which means there is still some power behind the religion, as sort of watered down as it can be.

Dogs are intelligent beings; they are not human beings. The life of a dog - there's no equivalency with the life of a person, and if you are putting a dog in the line of danger to save human life, and they can do the job reasonably well, I mean, seriously, what about dignity and self-respect? I feel like going out to dinner, I think I will have my cocker spaniel host the show tonight.

Who laughs less than feminists?