I feel the monster of grief again, writhing in the empty space where my heart and stomach used to be. I gasp, pressing both palms to my chest. Now the monstrous thing has its claws around my throat, squeezing my airway. I twist and put my head between my knees, breathing until the strangled feeling leaves me.

Part of me wonders if this is a suicide mission disguised as a game.

Not like Tobias, who is almost shy when he smiles, like he is surprised you bothered to look at him in the first place.

Now she looks pale and small, but her eyes make me think of wide- open skies that I have never actually seen, only dreamed of.

People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes you decide to trust them.

That our world is so massive that it is completely out of our control, that we cannot possibly be as large as we feel.

Beatrice. We should think of our family. But. But we must also think of ourselves.