Part of me wonders if this is a suicide mission disguised as a game.

And I'm the kind of person who does not let inconsequential things like boys and near death experiences stop her.

I have done bad things. I can't take them back, and they are part of who I am. Most of the time, they seem like the only thing I am.

Some things are hard to let go of.

Peace is restrained; this is free.

Maybe time would not feel as heavy if I didn't have this guilt -- the guilt of knowing the truth and stuffing it down where no one can see it, not even Tobias. Maybe I should not be so afraid of saying anything, because honesty will make me feel lighter.

We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one.