So now we all know," says Four, quietly, "that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." His mouth curls into a smile.

A sob racks my body again, and he wraps his arms around me so tightly I find it difficult to breathe, but it doesn't matter. My dignified weeping gives way to full-on ugliness, my mouth open and my face contorted and sounds like a dying animal coming from my throat. If this continues I will break apart, and maybe that would be better, maybe it would be better to shatter and bear nothing.

Hearing him talk about his mother, about his intact family, makes my chest hurt for a second, like someone pierced it with a needle.

You don’t always have to smack people in the face with how strong you are

People are supossed to aspire to become their fathers, not shudder at the thought.

But there's so much that was a lie, it's hard to figure out what was true, what was real, what matters.

Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is.