If you actually succeed in creating a utopia, you've created a world without conflict, in which everything is perfect. And if there's no conflict, there are no stories worth telling - or reading!

I have to face the fear. I have to take control of the situation and find a way to make it less frightening.

You sadistic pansycake.

I'm going to stop a revolution,'' I say. I turn right, and Peter follows me.

I open the door to the fear landscape room and flip open the small black box that was in my back pocket to see the syringes inside. This is the box I have always used, padded around the needles; it is a sign of something sick inside me, or something brave.

I know that I am birdlike, made narrow and small as if for taking flight, built straight-waisted and fragile. But when he touches me like he can't bear to take his hand away, I don't wish I was any different.

My dear girl. I am his family. I am permanent. You are only temporary.