I settle into their pace. The uniform pounding of feet in my ears and the homogeneity of the people around me makes me believe that I could choose this. I could be subsumed into Abnegation’s hive mind, projecting always outward.

I know that I am birdlike, made narrow and small as if for taking flight, built straight-waisted and fragile. But when he touches me like he can't bear to take his hand away, I don't wish I was any different.

I decide to do what I always do when I'm not sure what's going on: I act like everyone else.

The person you became with her is worth being.

I do trust you, is what I want to say. But it isn't true -- I didn't trust him to love me despite the terrible things I had done. I don't trust anyone to do that, but that isn't his problem; it's mine.

Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is.

I feel like myself, strong and weak at once - allowed, at least for a little while, to be both.