There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater. But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now.

With four? Doing a little... Addition? Multiplication?

I open the door to the fear landscape room and flip open the small black box that was in my back pocket to see the syringes inside. This is the box I have always used, padded around the needles; it is a sign of something sick inside me, or something brave.

What thought or message would you put in a fortune cookie? "Stop reading this. Eat the cookie and live your life.

How have I never realized before that for all the strong, kind parts of him, there are also hurting, broken parts?

That is how it feels. Like everything between us is twisted together, friendship and love and family, so I cant tell the difference between any of them.

The only reason I haven't shot you yet is because he's the one who should get to do it," I say. "Stay away from him or I'll decide I no longer care.