I don't believe it is more important to move forward than to know the truth.

I am fed up. I am fed up with tears and weakness. But there isn't much I can do to stop them.

If I let a little of the emotion out, all of it will come out, and it will never end.

Thank you for your honesty.

I tell myself, as sternly as possible, that is how things work here. We do dangerous things and people die. People die, and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving initiation.

But when you kill someone you love, the hard part is never over. It just gets easier to distract yourself from what you've done.

I think it's a human tendency that's been around for a while to try to be as good as possible to prove your worth.