I just wanted to thank you' he says, his voice low. 'A group of scientists told you that my genes were damaged, that there was something wrong with me - they showed you the test results that proved it. And even I started to believe it.' He touches my face, his thumb skimming my cheekbone, and his eyes are on mine, intense and insistent. 'You never believed it,' he says 'Not for a second. You always insisted I was... I don't know, whole.

I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave

"I'll be your family now," he says.

"What did you do?" I scream. "You die, I die too."

Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is.

I take a deep breath. I'm not sure where that swell of desperation came from, but know that I've acknowledge it, it's impossible to ignore, like a living thing has awakened from a long sleep inside me. It writhes in my stomach and throat. I need to leave. I need the truth.

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.