Any guy hates Valentine's Day. Even if you're in love, you can't win on Valentine's Day. If you're married, you can't win on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is like the thing you want to avoid at all costs.

You think the politicians that run my country and your country don't have guns in the schools their kids go to? They do. And we should be allowed the same rights. Banning guns is like banning forks in an attempt to stop making people fat. Taking away guns, taking away drugs, the booze, it won't rid the world of criminality.

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya it feels phenomenal.

The last book I read was the book I've been rereading most of my life, The Fountainhead.

If I'm saying a universal truth, but maybe it's something that people don't feel comfortable saying It's a strange take, but at the same time, what you're hitting on is kind of right. You can relate. That's the heart of comedy. You have to have a point of view. You gotta commit. And the more you commit to it, sometimes the funnier it gets.

I support people having a gun in public full stop, not just in your home. We don't have the right to bear arms because of burglars; we have the right to bear arms to resist the supreme power of a corrupt and abusive government. It's not about duck hunting; it's about the ability of the individual. It's the same reason we have freedom of speech.

I've always been a fan of a Johnny Carson because he was so great with an audience and not afraid of self-deprecating humor.