England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.

Whenever an important event, a revolution, or a calamity turns to the profit of the church, such is always signalised as the Finger of God.

Life is bristling with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to cultivate one's garden.

The man visited by ecstasies and visions, who takes dreams for realities is an enthusiast; the man who supports his madness with murder is a fanatic.

The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything.

It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.