All important persons have about them someone in a subordinate position who has their ear. These dependents are very susceptible to slights, and, when they are not treated as they think they should be, will by well-directed shafts, constantly repeated, poison the minds of their patrons against those who have provoked their animosity. It is well to keep in with them.

Never pause unless you have a reason for it, but when you pause, pause as long as you can.

The subjunctive mood is in its death throes, and the best thing to do is to put it out of its misery as soon as possible.

Advice to first year medical students: In anatomy, it is better to have learned and lost than never to have learned at all.

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.

First, cut out all the wisdom, then cut out all the adjectives.

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.