In business sharp practice sometimes succeeds, but in art honesty is not only the best but the only policy.

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she's worth all she costs you.

It was such a beautiful day I decided to stay in bed.

The humour of Dostoievsky is the humour of a barloafer who ties a kettle to a dog's tail.

Dying is the most hellishly boresome experience in the world! Particularly when it entails dying of 'natural causes'.

Tolerance is only another name for indifference.

You know, there are two good things in life, freedom of thought and freedom of action. In France you get freedom of action: you can do what you like and nobody bothers, but you must think like everybody else. In Germany you must do what everybody else does, but you may think as you choose. They're both very good things. I personally prefer freedom of thought. But in England you get neither: you're ground down by convention. You can't think as you like and you can't act as you like. That's because it's a democratic nation. I expect America's worse.