The woman that comes in, takes the wastebasket away, she's paying 15.3 or whatever it is on payroll tax alone. I mean it is - I never had it so good.

Anything can happen anytime in markets. And no advisor, economist, or TV commentator-and definitely not Charlie nor I-can tell you when chaos will occur. Market forecasters will fill your ear but will never fill your wallet.

If I subscribed to the efficient market theory I would still be delivering papers

Never invest in a business you can't understand

I prefer liquor store robbers with hungry kids to companies that locate offshore to avoid U.S. taxes.

If you've got a good enough business, if you have a monopoly newspaper, if you have a network television station - I'm talking of the past - you know, your idiot nephew could run it. And if you've got a really good business, it doesn't make any difference.

A pin lies in wait for every bubble and when the two eventually meet, a new wave of investors learns some very old lessons.