Write to amuse? What an appalling suggestion! I write to make people anxious and miserable and to worsen their indigestion.

Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.

I like buying clothes, especially as I get a tax-deductible allowance.

I was single for a long time and felt very much alone in the world, and talk of family values upset me very much at that phase in my life, because I used to think: 'What about people like me?

I think it's a question which particularly arises over women writers: whether it's better to have a happy life or a good supply of tragic plots.

I've never been more famous than I was, suddenly, in 1986.

I have a theory that if you've got the kind of parents who want to send you to boarding school, you're probably better off at boarding school.