Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.

It is hereby earnestly proposed that the USA would be much better off if that big, sprawling, incoherent, shapeless, slobbering civic idiot in the family of American communities, the City of Los Angeles, could be declared incompetent and placed in charge of a guardian like any individual mental defective.

Tolerance to my mind has been greatly overrated . . . . I take as much pleasure in detesting the good brothers and sisters of the [Anti-Saloon] League as they have in hating me.

I am a member of the rabble in good standing.

Eleanor Roosevelt is a political force of enormous ambitions. I believe she is a menace, unscrupulous as to truth, vain and cynical - all with a pretense of exaggerated kindness and human feeling which deceives millions of gullible persons.

My hates have always occupied my mind much more actively and have given greater spiritual satisfactions than my friendships.

I must not mix champage, whiskey, and gin. (Repeated fifty times to fill column.)