Books about suicide make lousy gifts.

Mushy reviews are a breach of faith

Baseball fans are pedants, there is no other kind.

The only reason I didn't kill myself after I read the reviews of my first book was because we have two rivers in New York and I couldn't decide which one to jumo into.

Scott Fitzgerald is a sound you like to hear at certain times of the day, say at four in the afternoon and again late at night, and at other times it makes you slightly sick.

I picked up the writing on the very day he died. It was the only consolation I could find.

Books about suicide make lousy gifts.