No libraries, no progress.

I'm not the dumbest guy that ever lived.

If I go down in for anything in history, I would like to be known as the person who convinced the American people that catfish is one of the finest eating fishes in the world.

Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right.

Librarians have always been among the most thoughtful and helpful people. They are teachers without a classroom.

There are plenty of good-looking women out there. Go get them.

I wore dresses all the time. I like to wear dresses.