They told me if I voted for Goldwater, he would get us into a war in Vietnam. Well, I voted for Goldwater and that's what happened.

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

In the hands of a skillful indoctrinator, the average student not only thinks what the indoctrinator wants him to think . . . but is altogether positive that he has arrived at his position by independent intellectual exertion. This man is outraged by the suggestion that he is the flesh-and-blood tribute to the success of his indoctrinators.

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

Everyone detected with AIDS should be tattooed in the upper forearm, to protect common needle users, and on the buttock, to prevent the victimization of other homosexuals.

Nobody who's ever been to Gulag is a pacifist.

Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.