When I was little there was a picture in one of our books, a dark place into which a single weak ray of light came slanting upon two faces lifted out of the shadow.

It's not when you realize that nothing can help you — religion, pride, anything — it's when you realize that you don't need any aid.

Surely there is something in madness, even the demoniac, which Satan flees, aghast at his own handiwork, and which God looks on in pity.

When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me.

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the base of our splendid failure to do the impossible.

I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

...and you don't even have to sleep alone, you don't even have to sleep at all; and so, all you have to do is show the stick to the dog now and then and say, 'Thank God for nothing.'