The great quality of Dulness is to be unalterably contented with itself.

Women are jealous of cigars... they regard them as a strong rival.

The moral world has no particular objection to vice, but an insuperable repugnance to hearing vice called by its proper name.

Why do they always put mud into coffee on board steamers? Why does the tea generally taste of boiled boots?

Tis hard with respect to Beauty, that its possessor should not have a life enjoyment of it, but be compelled to resign it after, at the most, some forty years lease

Come forward, some great marshal, and organize equality in society, and your rod shall swallow up all the juggling old court gold-sticks

She had not character enough to take to drinking, and moaned about, slip-shod and in curl-papers, all day.