Dennis Cooper, God help him, is a born writer.

Virtue is simply happiness, and happiness is a by-product of function. You are happy when you are functioning.

They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work.

Tell Allen I plead guilty to vampirism and other crimes against life. But I love him and nothing else cancels love.

For years I wondered why dreams are so often dull when related, and this morning I find the answer, which is very simple - like most answers, you have always known it: No context ... like a stuffed animal set on the floor of a bank.

Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to listen to this drivel - you are a terminal fool!" Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.

My relationship with cats has saved me from a deadly and pervasive ignorance.