Human greatness is a rather difficult thing to account for, and more often than not one is mistaken in one's hunches about somebody one has met.

It is a pity, in my opinion, that no prize exists for the writer who best refrains from adding to the world's bad books.

The Tax Collector's letters are invariably mimeographed, and all they say is that you still haven't paid him.

Remember that every man is a variation of yourself

You write a hit play the same way you write a flop.

All comedians are people who really deeply consider the human experience not only a dirty trick perpetrated by a totally meaningless procedure of accidents, but an unbearable ordeal every day, which can be made tolerable only by mockery in one form or another.

I can't hate for long. It isn't worth it.