If you give to a thief he cannot steal from you, and he is no longer a thief.

I have managed to conceal my madness fairly effectively, and as far as I know it hasn't hurt anybody badly, for which I am grateful.

If you’re alive, you can’t be bored in San Francisco. If you’re not alive, San Francisco will bring you to life.

Jack Benny had style from the beginning. He stood straight and walked kind of sideways as if he were being gently shoved by a touch of genius.

Unless a man has pity he is not truly a man. If a man has not wept at the worlds pain he is only half a man, and there will always be pain in the world, knowing this does not mean that a man shall dispair. A good man will seek to take pain out of things. A foolish man will not even notice it, except in himself, and the poor unfortunate evil man will drive pain deeper into things and spread it about wherever he goes.

You must not be unkind, especially when it happens that you're right.

Even after you've won fame and fortune, every time you write you've got to write, there's no shortcut, you have to start your career all over again.