One time he was asked if he believed in an afterlife. After a moment's hesitation he said no, that he thought there was only "some kind of velvety cool blackness," adding then: "Of course, I admit I may be wrong. It is conceivable that I might well be reborn as a Chinese coolie. In such case I should lodge a protest."

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

Before Alamein we never had a victory. After Alamein we never had a defeat.

I devoured Gibbon. I rode triumphantly through it from end to end and enjoyed it all.

The United Nations was set up not to get us to heaven, but only to save us from hell.

These are great days.

It is my belief, you cannot deal with the most serious things in the world unless you understand the most amusing.