Do you know why the nose of the bull dog is sloped backwards? So it can keep on breathing without ever letting go.

[My ideal of a good dinner] is to discuss good food, and, after this good food has been discussed, to discuss a good topic - with myself the chief conversationalist.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Russian may seem narrow-minded, impudent, or even stupid people, but can only pray for those who are against them.

Nature has not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all the vital forces.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

I'd prefer to be right than consistent.