The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of defeat, but they are no less difficult.

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

You must look at facts, because they look at you.

Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat.

Do you know why the nose of the bull dog is sloped backwards? So it can keep on breathing without ever letting go.

The main vice of capitalism is the uneven distribution of prosperity. The main vice of socialism is the even distribution of misery.

I remember when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's Circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit on the program which I most desired to see was the one described as ‘The Boneless Wonder’. My parents judged that the spectacle would be too demoralizing and revolting for my youthful eye and I have waited fifty years, to see The Boneless Wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench.