Don't we all know why nerds do what they do? To get money, which leads to popularity, which leads to girls.

Women often have a great need to portray themselves as sympathetic and pleasing, but we're also dark people with dark thoughts.

Work on a computer that is disconnected from the ­internet.

No matter what anyone says, suicide takes guts. It's for heroes and martyrs, truly vainglorious men. Archie was none of these. He was a man whose significance in the Greater Scheme of Things could be figured along familiar ratios: Pebble : Beach Raindrop : Ocean Needle : Haystack

It's easy to confuse a woman for a philosophy

When I was 13, I really used to skip down the street, happy in thinking, "Oh, well, someone's suffering pain in order for me to feel this pleasure."

Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories.