Make no mistake about it, you are dumb. You’re a group of incredibly well-educated dumb people. I was there. We all were there. You’re barely functional. There are some screw-ups headed your way. I wish I could tell you that there was a trick to avoiding the screw-ups, but the screw-ups, they’re a-coming for ya. It’s a combination of life being unpredictable, and you being super dumb.

Tell me what you think and then tell me what the really smart person in the room who disagrees with you thinks.

And a wheat thin the size of Lake Tahoe.

Just to clarify the division of labor on the show, I write the show and Alan [Poul] does everything else.

I don't want to analyze myself or anything, but I think, in fact I know this to be true, that I enter the world through what I write. I grew up believing, and continue to believe, that I am a screw-up, that growing up with my family and friends, I had nothing to offer in any conversation. But when I started writing, suddenly there was something that I brought to the party that was at a high-enough level.

Decisions are made by those who show up.

Toby Zeigler: There's literally no one in the world I don't hate right now.