When my family decided to leave England I could not have been happier. I was sort of like - America seemed like the land of opportunity and, you know, it was Hollywood to me.

Because to Americans, Chechnya might as well be a suburb of Narnia.

There's no school that you can go to and learn how to be a "Daily Show" correspondent and how to interview people and, you know, essentially leave your soul outside the door and go in there and kind of, you know, destroy people's lives sometimes.

Re-colonizing it and sort of reverse-colonizing it to the point that today the national dish of Great Britain is Chicken Tikka Masala.

I said we are Ghodratis and there's nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.

Paki- bashing was kind of this term that was used in general to beat up anyone that was from the Indian subcontinent.

I don't want to tell people what they should think.