In Britain, you never get away from the fact that you're a foreigner. In the U.S., the view is it doesn't matter where you come from.

It's an organic thing that I try not to analyze too much, because I worry that it will go away.

It is ironic that it doesn't matter how successful I am in any other capacity. Ultimately, my parents marker is do you have a wife? And do you have children?

We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

I'm Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.

The Daily Show writers are incredibly smart and very well plugged-in but occasionally they would need me for certain specific things, and I'd be like, 'Yeah, I completely know how to do that; I can solve that problem,and then I'd be like, 'Mom?

I've always said I'm the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that's ever existed, because I've been inside more bars than mosques.