You can't control the audience. When you're on the air and they're not coming to the party, it's time to shut down the party.

If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is "poontang".

I just consider myself a piece of the puzzle and I'm lucky enough to be asked or invited to the party, if you will. I hope I can bring some laughs and grimaces to the fans.

You never really know the guy until you sit down with him.

I always did think that when I turned 40, I'd start coming into my own.

I'm not much of a jokester.

What hard evidence is there that Obama doesn't want ebola in America?