My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.