The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.