The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.