The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'